Happy Deepawali

Happy Deepawali

This Deepawali I decided to walk around, 

Gather thoughts and register some memories

Be a part of the whole yet be with self,

Celebrating it in a unique style.

Across the road was a colony,

Soaked in milky white

Diyas , lights and crackers,

Combination illuminating the sky.

I entered through one of the streets,

Bustling with activity likewise

Shops loaded with sweets and gifts,

Spirited hearts busy buying.

I passed through few houses,

Decorated with flowers and ribbons

Rangoli at the door steps,

Entire household coming alive.

I turned back with a happy heart,

The view was a feast to the eyes

Seeing others in the festive mood,

I was vicariously enjoying.

Along the bend of the road,

Few lesser mortals lived by

Their kids from a distance,

Watched with silent eyes.

Now I too had to shop,

Sweets and crackers

And reached back,

Where those kids stood by.

Gifting them was so satisfying,

A new meaning I did find

The smile on their faces,

My festival had turned divine.

May this festival bring to all unbound joys , happiness and prosperity . 

Happy Deepawali !!

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Education on Sale

A recent article in TOI read the following "225 B-schools, 52 engineering colleges close in 2 years" . Upon reading it further i made a note of some of the facts presented in the write up and they were startling. 

• Since 2011, 225 B-schools and over 50 engineering colleges across India have downed shutters. 
• For the first time, overall growth of MBA education is negative in the books of the All India Council for Technical Education (AICTE). In 2011-12, 146 new B-schools came up and 124 that were already running closed down. This year so far, 101 management colleges have closed down, only 82 have started.
• Similar is the story with the Master of Computer Application (MCA) course—84 colleges stopped offering the programme this year; only 27 started MCA courses.

Degrees are for namesake

These facts only point out at the number of colleges that went off the radar but it did not touch upon the plight of students who passed off from these colleges. We all can comfortably agree that these institutions downed their shutters because they could not provide quality education , world class infrastructure and most importantly jobs to the students. The hapless students would have chosen these anonymous colleges at that point of time because of myriad reasons. The opportunity to get a job is lost but the grave issue is the opportunity cost. 

The student did spend a good 2-3 years to earn a professional degree but at the end of it this is not sufficient enough to substantiate their claim for the skills learnt and the knowledge acquired. Most importantly we need to understand the cost to fund this education. In today's era this figure has even spiraled northwards, and one needs to muster 10-15 Lakhs to complete a graduation and masters degree. Self funding for these grad courses are decreasing day by day and the trend is to go for education loans that are as easy as buying a new mobile connection. First the authorities approve of these fly by night colleges and then the banks join the party by disbursing loans to their students. The student enrolls himself in a college which has no future and can't even guarantee him or her a future as well. The depressing part of this episode is the financial liability that the poor student undertakes with a hope that this can be paid off, after the job placement. A reality check between the EMI rates for the education loan and the take home salary will clear all confusion. This is a nonviable proposition even if you land a mediocre job. We are creating a workforce that is low on employability , is under financial burden and not even sure of the future ahead.

The criteria for opening these professional colleges cannot be limited only to availability of land , mortar and brick structure and political clout .The mushrooming of colleges everyday is a sign of this pact between the policy makers , government bodies and the groups who have deep pockets. Rather than giving these unscrupulous persons a free hand to spoil careers and our nation's future we should identify and shun such establishments. Efforts should be made to discuss this vicious cycle of education with the students community  and the opportunity cost of the same needs to be worked out. The motive should not be, to just earn a college degree but to acquire knowledge , skills and perfection in the chosen field of study. The harder the route to success is the better equipped one is for the future battles.

Students !! The next time when you come across a college advertisement ,their job placement promises and a esteemed degree that will serve you well , just beware and skeptical .

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Don't Rush The Good Things

Relish the moments, don't rush by

Last week while standing at the airport ticket counter i was surprised to see a pile of voter id cards with the airline staff. I was intrigued by this collection and upon inquiring, found out that the travelers forgot these cards at the counter,while getting their tickets issued. This made me wonder what would could have been the  reason for this occurrence. My mind concluded that these people must have been in hurry and in that state of  frenzy they forgot their document at the counter. This event further leads me to choosing between two important things; first catching the flight and the other not losing our valued possessions. By valued possession i would mean mobile phones, wallets , documents , personal belonging etc., because losing any of them while traveling can cause lots of stress and inconvenience. Out of these two choices none of them can happen in isolation and they must mutually co exist for us to carry our day to day work and  travel. The mind has to multitask and be aware of the surroundings while carrying out an intended activity.

So analyzing further, i deduce that these days our minds are stressed , overworked and over burdened. The competition is so tough that being good is not a  option any more, we have to be the best in our fields. If we  don't meet the expectations someone else will, and younger generation is always a  notch better than the former. Since we are living in a knowledge era it is the intellectual capital and grey cells that play the most vital role in conducting ourselves and our businesses. For sure there will be a cap to the limit one can push his or her mind but then again, there are others who will keep on raising the benchmark day by day. The best possible scenario that emerges out is being smart , being aware, remain competitive and paradoxically "GO SLOW". Here i will introduce to you all the concept of ' The Slow Movement'.

From Wikipedia : Professor Guttorm Fløistad summarizes 'The Slow Movement philosophy'

"The only thing for certain is that everything changes. The rate of change increases. If you want to hang on you better speed up. That is the message of today. It could however be useful to remind everyone that our basic needs never change. The need to be seen and appreciated ! It is the need to belong. The need for nearness and care, and for a little love! This is given only through slowness in human relations. In order to master changes, we have to recover slowness, reflection and togetherness. There we will find real renewal."

Traditionally we lived in joint families, communities that had a limited geographical area and spread. The bonds between people were strong and everyone had time to share and care. With the boundaries of our aspirations and available options in life getting bigger and bigger the mad rush has no stopping. There is no time to look back or reach out for things that make up a real and happy life. This hurry to perform and persist is causing lots of stress which is making us poorer by 'Quality Time'.Stress is leading to time crunch which in turn is taking us away from our people, our culture, our places and our relations.We are not only rushing at work but also our food, our family time, our relaxation time and even our leisure time.Probably people would agree with me that we were more happier during the times when means were limited and time was unlimited. 

The good news is there is an option, an approach to reclaim our happiness and lead a stress free life. The only effort that is required from us is changing our attitude and bring a shift in our thinking processes. Let me clarify i am not propagating slow work or slow actions and supporting inefficiency. All i am discussing here is the way to go slow and still be a winner in all walks of life.

Some ways to re look at the way we do things:

1. Travel Slow - Wherever you are connect to the place and persons, take out time to appreciate the difference. Take out time to visit local places , eat local local food and feel at home.

2. Slow Food - Relish the food served on the plate, make a connection to the farm it grew, the effort it took to prepare and feel privileged to share it with your family members. Eat the serving slowly thereby relishing the rich taste and savoring the love and affection of the one who cooked it for us.

3. Slow Work - Strive for excellence in whatever little you do. It is not the quantity that will matter but the quality that will define you work acumen. So, when the only differentiation is excellence why not work slow thereby giving our best and outperforming others. For that to happen our work demands our quality time too and we need to deep dive to ensure perfection and individual satisfaction. 

4.  Slow Living - Choose priorities in life, get away with the clutter and mundane events, work out a plan to make self and others around happy. Look for happiness in small things , rejuvenate your senses with the pristine beauty of things, be childlike and open your arms to a slow yet connected world. Take out time for family, friends, relatives and feel fortunate to have whatever god gave you.

There is a website that talks of this philosophy in much more detail. 

Visit it here http://www.slowmovement.com

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Diversity - Inclusion Inspires Innovation

Diversity Inclusion

Differences in culture, race, ethnicity,

Age, gender and ability

Personal traits and life experiences,

Views, learning's shape our identity

Existences so different and this is diversity.

Promoting people from all walks of life,

Providing an equal opportunity

Creating a workplace and an environment,

That promises fairness and equality

Inclusive growth thrives on diversity.

Differences inform, enrich and empower,

Present entirely new possibility

Together we create a better world,

Building on our collective capacity

The core of our strengths rests in diversity

Coming up with new ideas and better solutions,

Innovating, requires thinking differently.

Benchmarks to be breached, bars to be raised,

Depends on differences as on aggregate ability

Creativity and Innovation is born out of diversity.

Enriching our performances,

Creating client value vastly

We celebrate our work,

Transforming lives collaboratively.

Our growth and progress lies in our diversity !!

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My Video at First Post Website

Accidentally i chanced upon a video of self that is posted on First Post website. This is my second public appearance and thought of posting it on my blog. The first one was when i was interviewed by Zee Business after winning a B Plan contest at one of the B Schools. Per chance i don't have earlier video so enjoy this one !!

Here is the link on first post website 

You can access the video on You Tube too !!

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The faces behind the voices

Every other day we receive ten's of calls from tele-callers selling us policies, bank loans , insurance , medical cover and real estate deals. In business terms this is called  "Cold Calling", the most cheapest and impersonal way of Sales and Marketing of products or services. Companies have definitely succeeded a bit using these tool for sales or else how would we explain the menace of plethora of calls, that we receive everyday.

With technology the world is shrinking

Similarly like above, every other day we call  "Customer Care" or " Help Desk" of companies for which we are a consumer . This support center is the first point of contact that companies set up to provide assistance to its customers. More often than not, we get our queries resolved . Accept it or not the new paradigms have made "Virtual Business" a healthy possibility. Whether you buy online , receive deal offers on phone or call support desk for an answer this virtual communication will definitely form a part of your entire transaction.

So who are the people behind these voices  ??

At times it is a energetic male voice ,  sometimes a girl with a chirpy , bubbly sweet voice and on other instances a heavy pitch or sombre tone. It is remote possibility that you will ever meet these virtual people but what is quite possible is that you and me will surely conduct business with these 'Invisible entities'. The calls do not come on their own or to anyone or everyone for that matter. The companies are smart enough to choose their segment and the set of the targeted audience. So, when we are being sold an idea , a product or service the caller already has a profile in his or her mind. He or she can draw in his mind a caricature of the person being called and uses all his/her capabilities to hear you and make himself /herself heard. All his skills rely on only one tool and that is coming up with a 'Winning Pitch' in less than a minute's time. In fact it is the first 30 secs that decide which way the call will go.Apart from striking a interesting and intelligent conversation what attracts people is your voice. If the texture, smoothness, clarity , tone can make someone stop for a moment he or she will definitely give you time. If you are ultimately successfull there will be a relationship that gets build with your prospect over a series of dialogues.

Virtual Teams is the Future

Over the years I have worked with virtual teams across geographies , across nationalities and across diversities . During the course of these prolonged tele - interactions i even made good friends and conducted business successfully. All i knew about the person is the knowledge that he or she presented over the calls followed by some written mails. So having known them for long without seeing them ever i only had a mind map to imagine. The entire relationship hinged on a call that had two voices and two minds working in tandem. With the series of conversations image after image kept on adding to the person's profile and my mind accepted that virtual acquaintance.

At few times i even had the chance to add a face to the name and the voice i knew for so long. I found these people more or less in sync with the information they had provided about themselves. There were some who were better off from what they sounded on phone and some had more about them to be still known. What perplexed me is, i could not really connect the voice and the person. Probably relationships that start in person don't have any false impressions. You meet people, talk to them , understand their views and opinions and decide in some time if you want to carry along. The acquaintance that starts with making an virtual impression of the other person has hardly other parameters to bank upon. The human touch, the warmth , the eyes and the body language is not there to be seen.

If you ask me let the virtual world be virtual only. Let the identity of the person be a secret and the real self be hidden. Enjoy making images in your mind and live with those rosy and pretty imagination of yours than face the reality.The faces behind the voices have only one face and that is their voice !!

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A Good Blog-Post is a Movie well made

Movie Making and Blogging have lots in common

Is anyone of you reading this post  into film making ?? The possibility to find one such person reading my blog post is remotely remote. So i take it that neither you nor me has any idea what making of a movie entails, but what we all know is how to write /blog . Let's start from here and let me try and draw an analogy between my effort ( a good blog post ) and say Anurag Basu's product (a hit movie) . Both the activities being compared are an act of creation , original and are shared in the public domain for people's consumption and fun.

(To inform my readers, Anurag Basu is a filmmaker of repute and his latest effort , the movie ' Barfi '  has  recently hit the theatres and is being widely acclaimed for its direction and acting prowess of Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra. You can read the review here - Barfi Review  )

Barfi - A movie that won many hearts

The Start

I am in the look out of a beautiful story to blog and so is Mr Basu in search of a plot for his movie. We both spend hours , days , weeks and even months to freeze upon an idea to crystallize . It can take even years to finalize the core of the entire effort . Many a times we blog and draw references from our own lives and so does a director too, and the cost of such discovery is our learning over years. Not an easy task for one's mind to come up with a bestseller at all times, yet the effort that goes in to make a start is tremendous.

The Casting

Directors go overboard in roping in actors for their flicks as they feel justice to their dream can only be done by a few. Quite Right !! As a writer when i pen a poem or a fiction i have to decide my protagonist , other characters as seriously as him. If the characters in my written piece are not strong they will not be able to strike a chord with the reader.

A movie has songs, dialogues , places , glamour and glitz to sell and i have all of them too, but with the help of a writing pen only. Don't you think my task is harder as compared to a cine maker?? He has aids to depict what he wants , i have only words to weave and perceive.

The Direction

It is often seen that a talented director can squeeze out extraordinary performances from his artists. In other cases his grip on the entire movie is so strong that even ordinary actors look like mavericks and their flaws or avoided by the audience. So in both the scenarios it is the craft of the Director to deliver a hit in the true sense of a commercial success. Blog posts that win contests and take prizes home do meet this pattern too. At times a very ordinary post find judges favour and at other times a brilliant work is duly rewarded. It all depends upon the ability of the writer.

So what is the commonality between these 2 individuals ??

The Director and the Blogger both are keen observers, they have an eye for details and most importantly they know what sells. They both have an  inherent capability of producing a winner ,a passion to raise the bar every time and nothing less than the perfect satisfies them. In this quest of greatness they debate with themselves, seeks answers to all the questions from within and once the mind is calm and quiet they act !!

To end, all i would say is  i am here to celebrate creativity , originality , talent and perfect the art of narrating thoughts. Each one of my  blog posts gives me pleasure and immense satisfaction. My mind's landscape is as wider as a Director's, who works earnestly and tirelessly to live his dream on the celluloid. My canvas is this blogging platform and i intend to deliver a hit after another hit !!

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Also read my post " The Confusion about Truth " http://viveksheel-blog.blogspot.in/2012/09/the-confusion-about-truth.html

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The Confusion about truth

In day to day life i get asked by my friends,colleagues and family to give my opinion on issues of their concurrent concern or some or the other preoccupation.This prerogative is solely bestowed upon me because people have an impression that i have earned my stripes in life through lots of thick and thin. This dialogue and exchange of ideas is very healthy indeed and leads to one's clarity of mind and also keeps the thread alive.  Or else where is the time left with anybody to reach out or 'Communicate'.

One thing that i have been lately debating is, how true my set of beliefs are , how deep my knowledge about multiple subjects is ?and how well have i weaved all the experiences in my thinking methodology ?? There are topics that i am well read and aware of , a bit lesser in few and at times totally oblivious of some. I assume that's a general mix and match of everybody around us. The grey area and self doubt  creeps in  the areas where i am not in control or have not thought it through ,however easy it might be. Still the ask of people around is an answer , an opinion and/or an advice. I can very honestly express my in ability of not knowing  it all and find an escape. Now here is the catch  !! This answer or truth is not helping me when it comes to raising my son.

My kid  is growing up day by day and learning numerous new things in this journey. He has questions, anxities and puzzles to seek an answer for and but naturally he will turn up to his parents.  Whenever he will pop up a question i have to have an answer to quench his curiosity and as i said earlier there will be questioins i will not be equipped to answer.  This is where the " Confusion about Truth " comes.  I do have an aid in the internet search engines that can answer better than me and in a fraction of the time i will take. What perplexes me in this sea of information is the verity of this information and its relevance for the answer seeker. 

Truth is not what we know

Now to judge or sieve in from this maze of content that is thrown up at me i have to fall back on my own learning's.The basics to analyse , the ability to decipher , the competency to understand and the authority to disseminate it in the end.  The big question !! Did i learn it right ??  Has there been more transimisson loss than i think,in the learning's from my teachers to me ?? Did i get my fundamentals in the first place?? How well did i learn myself ?? Has there been more of a generation gap between my parents and me  and did i not pick from them that effectively ??

What is the image and shape of the ultimate truth that i know and currently believe in ??

I have come to think of it that as we all grow we change the way we used to think few years back. Now as we change and customize there is lots of information that we buffer and newer things  we pick up. The rate at which we relinquish is not the same at which we acquire, though. The interesting thing to observe is, in the way of disowning , forgetting or deleting the information that we acquire. Here is when we pick and choose and remember things that we conveniently want to carry forward. All of it that we carry with us is not true , all is not a lie but one thing that is certain is, it is not all perfect as it was.

Gradually over the years, layers over layers keep on forming in our minds and this continuous process brings us to a point where there is a confusion about the truth we presently know. I stand at a conjecture where my  present knowledge over the years is colored ,modified and i have fresh to learn, the mode and content of which i need to judiciously decide. I am in no position to comfortably agree to either of the two sources. 

Waitng for another obscure question from my kid !!

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Women Intimate Health

“Women’s intimate health, should the issues remain hushed or is it time we spoke out?”

Intimate Issues of Women

Let me list out some of the keywords that will relate to 'Women's Intimate health ' for e.g. Mensuration , Pill, Abortion, Contraceptives, Sanitary pads, Sex , Pregnancy and Gynecologist. How do you like reading all of them in a single stream ?? Are you comfortable choosing any of them for a dinner discussion with your wife , daughter or girl friend  along with the family ?? If i say it is time we spoke out would we be able to openly debate and discuss inviting equal participation from females ? How can this be perceived ?   What message will we send out to the masses at large ?? 




I am not comfortable discussing  these issues of women in the same way as  i shy from talking about Men infertility, Premature Ejaculation , AIDS or STD's. Why an open debate only about women why not also men?? Does it mean that  i cannot empathize with women's issues ??I agree that statistics show women's health as compared to men, in a state of more plight in the country owing to the lack of awareness. The lack of awareness concerns women more rather than men but the core issue remains the same - The issue is considered taboo be it for men or women. So what can be done and is there a feasible way out ?? Here is my view point !!

Between a man and a woman there exists an invisible veil of modesty , respect and feminism. You breach it only when you choose her as a life partner and she gives herself to you with consent. Apart from being a husband and wife no other relationship allows a man to get into the intimate and personal zone of a woman. Is breaching that gap in public domain a good step ?? Will  women feel comfortable ?? Are we not suggesting with our debate that things so personal to her are just to common to be made public ?? In my understanding this will be considered demeaning for the women folk or  will take away the quotient of coyness from the word 'Woman'.

Woman more often than not are perceived as 'objects' and their involvement in such discussions can cast wrong impressions. Women who are too bold ,aggressive and extrovert are labeled as 'easily available' . The above traits i mentioned are usually judged by external looks and behaviour, what if one indulges in issues whose meaning is not so hidden ??Knowing the fabric of the Indian society ,the masses in general would not appreciate such a move.

So far i listed out that the topic of intimate health, either or women or men is not a tea time discussion. Moreover women can get a wrong tag and their image can be misconstrued. Then how do we spread the word ?? How do we share information ?? How to we improve the health standards of women ?? How we make sure that every woman has access to healthcare and as an individual has her dignity intact ??

Every idea , every concept needs to be sold and for which it needs to be marketed well. Acceptance of an avant-garde step comes slow and most of the time doesn't even.  Let me use Mobile technology to help our case because the most accessible means for a majority of population is a Mobile handset . Healthcare companies in collaboration with IT firms can develop a widget that contains all the information about a women's health and a guide to avail healthcare . Let this be a free download on all the smart phones. The basic phones don't have internet facility still sms's can be pushed in. The service providers can share the data about the women users with the Authorized Government bodies and Self help groups and sms's can be send to start a communication. Service providers like Airtel , Vodafone, Tata can take up this initiative as a part of their Corporate social responsibility . A discussion  can be started with the public through group chats, messages and meetings. Once there is a momentum in the masses anything can be made acceptable. There is a need to first build a consensus on important issues rather than making them only juicy and spicy. 

If there is a will there is always a way. I am open to debate how can we spread awareness among women, how can we help there cause but what i am not supportive of, is a open debate in the full glare without even building a consensus !!


This post is a part of the weekend blogging contest at BlogAdda.com in association with 18again.com

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Mahabharata with Surf Excel

The armies of Kaurva and Pandava stood facing each other in the battlefield of Kurukshetra. The armies consisted of thousands of Elephants, Horses, soldiers, various kings and greats like Bhisma, Dronocharya , Kripa , Yudisthra , Arjuna and Krishna, all set for a historic and an epic battle. The attackers were equipped with bow and arrow, axes, swords, maces and lances. The mood was sombre, tension gripped the air and each of them smelled blood of the enemy, that was just hundreds of metres ahead. The commander of Kaurva’s army was Bhisma and Pandavas were lead by Yudhistra. The start of the battle was going to be announced in few minutes and each flank was discussing their strategy.

Arjuna’s chariot was being driven by Lord Krishna himself and here what we see…. Arjuna struck by utter grief and self-doubt, gets down from his chariot and abandons his arms. He realized that he would have to fight and probably kill his uncle, granduncle, cousin brothers, kith and other kin to win this war. He feels extremely sick and weak, only with the  prospect of this barbaric act. Arjuna looks nowhere close to the great warrior the world knew. In this state of confusion and hopelessness he turns to Krishna.

‘Oh lord!! I have no desire to fight this battle if this implies killing of my teacher, friends and kin. I need no kingdom, no riches for such a victory and even if I win, I lose it all’

‘Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana, Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani’

‘Parth !! You have a right to perform your act, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be associated to not doing your duty.’

‘There is an ongoing war within ourselves between the good and the evil and for us to emerge victorious every human being has to wage a war.’

‘Soak no more…..Soak no more in grief, Arjuna and it is a call of action to do your duties in the most selfless manner.

Krishna and Arjun in the battlefield of Kurukshethra

Bhisma blows ‘Shankha’ and the war is started. The armies start running towards each other and instantly rains start pouring down heavily. Everyone leaves the battlefield and runs for a shelter and there is chaos everywhere.

The heavy dresses with ornaments and arms are too heavy for the school kids to carry in the rains.We call off the final rehearsal and rush to help the kids find their way back to the dressing room.  Sixth grade students had chosen to enact the skit “ Mahabharata” for the annual skit competition and I am helping them as an event manager. Event management for a school fest is pretty complex as it not only involves logistics, behind the scene activity but we have to also ensure that the kids participate with enthusiasm and successfully deliver. The kids these days, are a talented bunch and work very strenuously to win in contests and competitions. The rehearsal went quite well and we as a team have bonded well, our preparations quite satisfactory and possibly putting us a strong contender for the first prize.

Holy God!!  I just realize that the rains have ruined all my aspirations and dashed our hopes for a prize.  The final event is tomorrow and we just have few hours left for the day to end. Relentless rains have dirtied all the costumes in mud and dirt and the kids are too unwary of the fact that I don’t have a second set of dresses for them. Where in the world do I go and manage a fresh set? How do I clean them at such a short notice?? My event team had faced so much difficulty altering dresses and coming up with a perfect fit for each kid, and now I stand on the brink of a disaster. I have to deliver at any cost and as Krishna says in the play “It is call of action and I have to act and fulfill my duty, soak no more in grief but act"

We pack all the dresses and rush to our workshop to act quickly. Here comes our savior in the form of ‘New Surf Excel Matic’. I am told by my colleague that Surf Excel Matic has the power of “Vibrating Molecules” to penetrate deeply embedded stains and remove them effectively, so no soaking before washing. It is 5 PM by my watch and I have to wash 120 set of dresses, dry them, iron them and reach the school by 7 AM next morning. I am a bit relieved that we don’t need to soak anymore and straight away put the clothes in the industrial washing machine. Here we go!! The results are fabulous and not even a stain left and I am amazed to the core.

Surf Excel IndiBlogger Blogging Contest

The announcement follows ‘Team Mahabharata please commence your act’.

My kids start parading to the ground one by one in the most fresh, bright and polished costumes. The crowd erupts in joy and claps for a while to appreciate the massive buildup for the skit. We do a fine act and emerge as runner up in the competition and also bag the prize for the best costume and design.

‘Thanks Surf Excel!!’  I smile softly and run to join the kids in the celebrations!!

This post is for the Indiblogger contest " Soak No More" powered by Surf Excel.

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Love if you can, marry if you must

If you are reading this post to find out what choice to make when thinking of something like marriage, i will say have you gone nuts ?? It's your life and why would i suggest you between love or arranged marriage. I agree that i am an obnoxious guy and derive pleasure in laughing at people when they make wrong choices. Take what ever route you wish to, married life is a circus and  there are only two people on stage and the rest of the world is always an audience. Damned if you marry and damn it if you don't. The method to madness is for you to decide.

If you are of  marriageable age, ask your circle of friends or your ill wishers, they all will make suggestions depending on their perspective and real or pseudo experiences. The set of people will be divided between single and married, gay and lesbians , married in love and married by arrangement. With this diverse bunch of jokers by your side do you expect a solution so overarching that you will make a decision?? It's not like choosing between Maths and Biology after higher secondary. It's between LOVE Marriage and ARRANGED Marriage !! So here is my take on these two routes that  people supposedly take, with a dream of a blissful life ahead .

Love Marriage - To marry in love you have to be first worthy of being loved by a person of your special attention and love interest. Now seeing the skewed ratio of " lovable females" in our schools , colleges and workplace the fight becomes even more tougher. You can pass any goddamn test in the country and get yourself selected but in this test you more than often remain the 'most eligible one'. Mind you !! This tag rarely gets converted to ' You are the only one'. Neither maths nor any statistics favour any ordinary guy in love . It is sad but true, gals always fall in love with the wrong guy and the rest of the miserable guys are too good to be chosen. These losers are fit to be a friend , best pal , man of the crisis , rakhi brothers and /or any tag that makes them useful and helpful.Your friends consider you an idiot and know you are an useless pig still you hold some repute in their eyes if you have a gal in love with you. I am not here to explain how love happens and all ,but to assume that some one has got lucky and now we are moving on the next stage of this hunky dory affair.

Now its couple of years and you have been successfully in love and you both decide to marry.

What next ??

Marrying someone you have chosen by yourself has its own merits and demerits. You can know about each others likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses  but of course not, things like how badly one snores, how infrequently you bathe and what a mess you keep your room in. After all an affair is only successful till the point you keep the other person impressed . The moment you allow your partner to get disillusioned,you allow him or her to drift for more greener pastures. Interestingly in a love marriage the expectation that everything will be 'rosy and chocolaty' takes longer to go !!

Love marriages still don't find wider acceptance in our Indian society because of many outstanding reasons. They could range from unrelenting parents , opposing relatives, jealous lovers or moral policing of  'Khap Panchayats' . Marry in love only if you have no enemies left  or else keep the flame burning in your hearts for life !!

The choice between love marriage and arranged marriage

Arranged Marriage - Carrying forward the story of the good guys and good gals and their arrangement to get married . This herd of 'untalented' crowd believes in  the institution of Arranged Marriage (AM)" . It's my personal thought that many use this alibi because they are 'good for nothing' people and think its their parents responsibility to get them married even if they have crooked nose, sagging waistlines and featureless faces. The basic premise that everyone will get married someday is filled with more of pessimism rather than a prophecy. I am not discounting the really good matches that emerge out of this standard practice but more or less AM comes with an asterisk ***.

***Conditions Apply  - Please expect surprises , shocks and  imperfections that you never ever agreed to or had to live up with. This is arranged marriage bro !! If  you are feeling suffocated after this irreversible act speak to your parents and learn from them 'Make it work' model.

It's like a Pandora's box and you really don't know what's coming next. The list of surprises can range from anything like a long and intolerable family of your spouse, interfering family members, archaic and intellectually challenging customs, never ending responsibilities and what not.  If i would be asked, an arranged marriage is for those who have lots have patience to hear and bear, maturity to forget and forgive  , understanding to love and be loved. 

Consider me a loser who could not get marry in love or the one among the few whose match was fixed by their parents i have been happily married and it was an arranged marriage.My last 2 cents –Marriage has benefits like improved social life, stable personal life, better earnings, and higher levels of physical & psychological health but only if it turns out to be a good decision. Look at it with lots of optimism and even be prepared for the worst. Love or arranged is just a stepping stone to the 'glorious days' ahead!!

Before i wind up few famous quotes that i found interesting-

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” - Socrates

“Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.”-  Emerson

“All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.”- Lord Byron

This post is for the the contest " love marriage or arranged marriage" on Indiblogger.

Check this out - www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.

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Sherlyn Chopra in Playboy

Kamasutra Girl - Sherlyn Chopra

"Sherlyn Chopra, who recently posed nude for Playboy, has said that she should be honoured with the highest civilian award, Bharat Ratna. The model, who is the first Indian to grace the magazine’s cover insisted that the act should be regarded as ‘the highest degree of service' towards the country" - From the Press.

It will not be long when we will hear similar statements from Sunny Leone , Poonam Pandey , Roselyn Khan and many other wannabe Playboy models . Nothing wrong in it but only, if wishes were horses, definitely fools would ride.  It is not a cakewalk to feel and express sensuality clubbing it with nakedness, the portrayal of which is raw lust and dirty passion.  We need to seriously understand individuals like these and what makes them uninhibited and daring beyond our imagination. 

So let me try reading the mind of one Ms Sherlyn Chopra.

“I am young, have ‘good assets’ and a good personality. So what?? So many girls in the industry have the same and they are ready to go ‘an extra bit too’.  How do I differentiate myself from the rest of the crowd?? What are my selling points?? What are my strengths?? What is that I need to do to become famous and successful??

Let me try acting in Bollywood movies…….

Few ‘good services’ like the above one and 2-3 movies see the light of the day. Still success, name, fame and money eludes me…..Sigh!!

What next Sherlyn??

I need to get in news like Sunny Leone and Poonam Pandey for that a monumental act has to follow. Once people talk and discuss about me, opportunities will emerge from nowhere. So the basic thing is I have to make people talk about me. My name needs to trend in the media.

For people to talk about me there has to be a reason. There has to be image that I need to create, a brand of self that I need to build and a cause that I need to be known for.  The underlying theme is that I am looking for an identity. In the industry only three things sell “Entertainment, Entertainment and Entertainment” and I will provide that. A clear case of Identity crisis and a modus operandi will be worked out to establish that.

Since this world is dominated by males and they are the ones to approve or disapprove of an aspirant like me why not block their complete imagination with my view. What they keep ogling at, and what they most fervently desire is what I propose to display, but will not provide it. I will trade in the goods that are tangible only to the limit of satisfying someone’s pleasure and lust.  This transaction will happen and also not happen exactly, but I would have derived mileage from this vicarious experience.Consider the amount of people flocking to see me in person , checking me out on the internet and my website, saving my 'classy pictures' and sharing them. I will cater to a sizable population of old and young and reach out to masses. That is why I will term my act as the service of the highest order for the nation.

While I swim in a pool, squirm on a bed or do all sorts of aerobics (all naked off course) and being photographed, I have provided a noble service to all. The service is not only pleasing to the senses, gratifying to the male lust and reaffirms their misconception that I am most cheaply available. In these mind games I will have some connoisseur like Hugh Hefner who will give me a chance without really asking ‘anything extra’( anyways people know it). In this run I will find a benevolent high society ass that will shower upon me money, name and fame. All in all my objectives will be met!! ”

Hail Ms Sherlyn Chopra, her plans and her debut at Playboy. I wish her all the best , nothing against her ‘talent’ and her smartness in being the first indian to become Hugh Hefner’s bunny. See I am talking about you in my blog that means your one objective of being talked about has been met. In fact Shobha De even found you worth a mention in her latest blog articles.

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Girl Named Betty - Limerick

Limerick on Betty

There was a young girl named betty,
Who always wore frocks too pretty,
When she went to the pub,
Boys gathered in a hub,
A usual affair for the beauty.

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Random Quotes #56

When people can't  hear the other person on the phone line they start speaking loudly. Buddy they can hear you it's you who can't  !!

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Take a 'Healthy Hair Quiz' soon

My wife has normal hair, they are smooth, shining, buoyant, supple and convenient to maintain. She has a healthy scalp and needs to pay minimal attention to keep them that way. She can be good model for a shampoo brand because of her wonderful tresses but everything was not picture perfect from the outset. So let me take you back in time, say by 15-18 months. One fine day my wife took an online quiz to assess how healthy her scalp is. The day to day grind and continuous travel had left her little time to take care of her hair and the results proved it.

“YOUR HAIR IS SEVERLY DAMAGED”

Her face turned pale as the one personal thing that she was so proud of was given a verdict of being ‘Severely Damaged’. The suggested remedies were using best of the breed shampoo, conditioner, oil, styling products and proper hair care but one word stood out and that was ‘Changing Lifestyle’. She was already using good hair care products(that includes Dove), but here the issue was much deeper and she had to bring in couple of changes in her day to day life.  She started a journey to regain a healthy scalp and a ‘firm resolve’ stood by this aspiration... and that was the end of her hair problems!!

There were areas of improvement identified with logic behind the change and the procedure to adopt.

Eat healthy for beautiful hair

Regular Habits like healthy diet and good amount of rest have a great impact on the quality of hair. Hence we both decided to include more Proteins,Vitamins and Minerals in our diet. The proportion of fruits, vegetables and milk was equally increased; plenty of water, fruit juice and soups became mandatory. Coffee and Tea was cut down at home to from three times to just once a day. The weekly shopping list underwent a healthy change and aspects like nutritional value, calories, energy, vitamins became discussion point at home.

Exercise Regularly to keep fit

Exercises were identified as a must and the best mode for rejuvenation of the body and soul. Even the literature available on net suggests that 'Regular exercises can accelerate the circulatory system which guarantees sufficient blood supply to all the cells. Abundant blood supply helps in growth by restoration and repair of tresses.’ I proposed running as the best exercise for the body as I am an avid runner. It was tough convincing her on this count but she gave it a good try. New sport shoes, jogging tracks, cap, sunglasses were bought at the earliest opportunity and my dear wife decided to run along with me. Quite a dreadful task for her and I was wondering how long can she keep up with it. But to my surprise she slowly managed to run a good kilometer every morning. Now she needs a moderate jog for 10-15 minutes and to keep the  healthy glow on her face.

Stress free life is long life

Stress - We are a working couple and work pressure, anxiety, stress,  demanding schedules takes a toll on our health. It was decided between us that we will not discuss office life at home and lay some ground rules while working at home. No late night slogging unless and until it can’t be done away with, short calls to discuss work with colleagues , dedicated slots for working in the weekend. Time permitting we will relax in the weekends by watching a good movie, sharing a good book or eating out light.

This entire effort took both of us a good one year to get life back on track. What started with a motive of regaining healthy hair taught us that hairs mirror our complete health. To boast of lofty, shining, lustrous and beautiful hair all you need to do is live a healthy life!!

Thanks Dove for inviting posts on this topic, I am more than happy to share with the world our story of healthy hair and healthy life !!

Dove Indiblogger Blogging Contest

To know how hair aware are you go through this link Dove hair-aware app.

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